#ibb12bookchallenge : BOOK #4

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

I read this book in response to an earlier blog, Another year older. Another year wiser?, and I’m so glad I did!

One of my greatest fears has always been the failure of my personal and family life in my quest for professional success.  Just the thought of it has plagued me with uncertainty and at times doubt that it could actually be done. However, I’ve met numerous people throughout the years that have continued success in their personal AND professional lives. So what’s their secret?

Chapman talks about how love is its own “foreign” language that we must learn to speak. I know I’m not alone when I say that there are times when trying to understand my wife has left me baffled. I would ask myself, “Why would she say that? How was I supposed to know that? What do you mean I don’t communicate? Haven’t I shown you how much I care already?”, etc.

My wife and I reached a point recently where she felt “disconnected.” I’m VERY lucky to have a partner who tells me how she is feeling and makes sure I know the problem exists and that we need to fix it. We are both very much committed to each other; however, what I was NOT doing was speaking HER “love language.”

The 5 Love Languages are…

1. Words of Affirmation

2. Quality Time

3. Recieveing Gifts

4. Acts of Service

5. Physical Touch

…my wife’s language turned out to be “Quality Time.”

Lucky for me reading this book came at a time when I needed some help and clarification on what my wife and I needed.

One of our ongoing difficulties was that she would tell me, “You don’t talk to me. You don’t communicate,” etc. The book states that many relationships experience this, because when individuals complain that their spouse doesn’t “talk” to them it does not mean that they don’t actually speak words to each other.

I would encourage you to read this book and discover what BOTH of your love languages are so you can begin to truly understand each other. The book is literally a “cheat sheet” of how to make your significant other happy! Take advantage of it!

Erica and I have made some adjustments and I have found that my “personal” time I’m spending with her has not gotten in the way of my “professional” goals. In fact it has helped me put things into perspective and I have actually become more efficient and productive in both my personal and professional lives. I always feared that I couldn’t have both; however, you must GIVE your significant other what they need. They are ultimately the number one person you want at your side the day you achieve your professional goals.

I look forward to you SHARING your success with the people who truly matter in your life.

Some say it is lonely at the top, but it doesn’t have to be.

Enjoy the day my friends!

-#ibbjames